‘Twas the night before Friday, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;
The backpacks were hung nicely on the hooks by the door,
In hopes that the school district would open once more;
The children had nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of recess danced in their heads;
And the cats had just rested, and I in my cap
Had just settled our brains for our last ice storm nap,
When out of my phone there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the bedside, I flew, thinking what now?
Typed in my passcode, and wiped the sweat off my brow
The moon on the breast of the recently-melted snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But DENTON ISD on the screen oh so clear
I knew in my bones, oh, Lord, please help us,
I knew in a moment it must be Pete Delkus
More rapid than eagles the automated message
It whistled, and shouted, and in distress was my visage
"Now, Celina! now, Frisco! now, Prosper and Denton!
On, Lewisville! McKinney! On, Plano, Liberty Christian!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away, icicles! Dash away all!"
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the stairwell my children came with a bound.
They were dressed all in fur, from their head to their feet,
To ask to go play or to torture poor me;
A bundle of toys they had flung on the floor,
Shoes, trucks, and sweatshirts all piled by the door.
Their eyes—how they twinkled! Their dimples how merry!
Their cheeks were like roses, their noses like cherries!
Their droll little mouths were drawn up like a bow
And their teeth smiled a smile all white like the snow;
A nerf gun for each, they held with their arms,
I threw up my hands for I felt I might just be harmed;
They had broad faces and little round bellies,
That shook when they laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.
I logged into Facebook, and typed in the search box
Pete Delkus, where are you, for this is your fault
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And changed his profile picture; then turned with a jerk,
The feed was updated, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim, ere he vanished out of sight,
"Welcome to hell again, and to all a good-night."